In Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3 I (Andrea) have explained three of four streams that have flowed together causing us to explore Eastern Orthodoxy. This will be my final post on how we've gotten here; Randy may give his perspective in other posts. We will certainly have other posts on various theological and practical issues that we hope challenge you, you can learn from and will comment on.
In Part 3 I talked about several ways in which my role as a mother was causing me to doubt our current choice of church. This post will detail one more aspect of childrearing that was making me look elsewhere.
For Christmas 2011 Randy's cousin Dave gave me a book called Hold Onto Your Kids by Dr. Gordon Neufeld. The thesis is a strong attachment relationship makes parental instinct strong. He never argues parenting can be "easy" but that, with instincts to follow, it doesn't have to be confusing/disorienting. The majority of the book talks about what has gone wrong in contemporary American society and the phenomenon of peer-orientation. In a nutshell peer-orientation is when peers replace parents in each other's lives. Obviously, peers are in no position to fulfill the orienting role that parents are supposed to play for their children.
In a healthy attachment relationship children look to parents for cues on everything; children cling to their parents and shy away from others until they feel comfortable. Nature's design (i.e. God's, though the book author makes no claim of Christian worldview) in this is that children stay close to those who love them most and will take care of them and teach them how to live, and conversely that children will steer clear of those whom they don't know are safe. Parents are the ones to make safe connections for their kids--introducing them to the babysitter, letting them "be clingy" until they are comfortable, reassuring them all the way in whatever way they need.
The author gives an example of an "ideal society": One where all generations mingle with and take part in the lives of all other generations. He uses the specific example of churches often filling that role (since we in America rarely live in small villages anymore). He also, however, describes how many churches have fallen into the peer-orientation trap, assuming that normal (i.e. commonplace) is natural and good. So you have your Children's Church and your Singles class and your Young Married class and your Seniors class and so on. Now there is definitely something to be said for commiserating with those in the same life stage as you, sharing ideas, etc. But what about those older who also might have good ideas? What about those younger who can learn from you now, or soon? I suspected a smaller church would be more conducive to the atmosphere I was hoping for. That bumped the only other possible Lutheran church right off our list, though as my last post said, I wasn't sure if Lutheranism was right anymore anyway.
So the beginning of December, having been intrigued by Eastern Orthodoxy and ready to move on from where we had been, we attended St. Anne Orthodox Church in Lewisburg. Our first worship experience warrants a whole separate post but for now I'll suffice it to say this family-friendly, family-oriented parish in what is quite possibly the Church of the Apostles has captured my heart.
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